Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Miss the days.

Easter Holiday was OK. My tummy bug only lasted 24 hours down to the hour.

Visited friends at their new place near the beach in the city. Other than a rather extreme nappy change situation, (a change of clothes and a bath later), Sheena had a pretty good time. She played with another baby for a good long stretch, where they played a very peaceful version of tug-a-war with a toy.

It was a dinner party where half the guests had young children, and the other half didn't. Makes me miss the parties where we could go to and be reliable to engage in good conversation rather than managing extreme nappy changes.

Speaking of conversations, I am very confident that I would not have been the type to ask 'did you have the tests?'. I am starting to think that it is very disrespectful to Sheena to answer the question. I am mostly very patient with questions like this, but given that Sheena is my much-loved daughter, I don't think people really understand the virtuality of what they are asking. People also assume that I am an expert on pre-natal testing which is ridiculous. I recently was close to walking away from a conversation around this, but decided to change the topic of conversation instead. I could not be stuffed going through the verbiage for no benefit of my own. A while ago, to a remote acquaintance who asked me in front of about 5 other people, I just answered, "Why?" I don't even think the women got the point, but I think the more intelligent people in room did.


Michelle said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better and that it was only a 24 hr bug! Sounds like Sheena is doing wonderfully too!

I always wonder how to answer that question too and I love your response of "why" Perfect!

Shelley said...

I know what you mean - although I tend to get the 'did you know before she was born' question - and likewise I don't really like it. Why should it matter - would I love her more or less depending on my answer, I wonder. Your response is good, pointed yet diplomatic - I wish I had the 'tude' for - "did you know you'd have a vomitous baby with really huge ears and no personality?" or some such thing but then I know that that is not really being fair to 'them' and ignorance needs to be curbed rather than encouraged.

Glad the bug has gone and that Sheena had fun at Easter even if you were unwell.

L. Noelle said...

I hear you loud and Clear!!!! I am asked that question constantly whenever I inform people about Jaden! They always ask it very meakly, with a tilt of the head, and a smile on the face! "Didn't you have all the tests? Did you know before he was born? Didn't you have an Amnio?" I swear every woman who asks me, doesn't mean harm, and they don't even know what they're asking half the time! All I know is, every mom or mom-to-be that knows Jaden, would never ask that question again, in fact they would all gladly welcome a baby with DS anyday of the week and they know longer have a fear of Down Syndrome! That in itself is amazing! It is always people who JUST DON'T KNOW, and who JUST DON't GET IT! Like it or not, just by having the special child that we do, we are instantly turned into Educators and it is up to us, to help change people's distorted questions and pre-conceived notions!

Sara said...

Glad you are feeling better..I hear you about the question...I get sick of hearing it..."why" is a great answer!!!!

~Melissa~ said...

I'm glad you are feeling better. I hate that question - I get it a lot too.

Zany Mama said...

"Why?" is a great answer! As is the quintessential therapist response of, "How would it help you to know the answer to that question?"

It stymies people every time.

Glad to hear you feel better.